Did I have it in me? Will this give me purpose? Is this something that will fulfill my passion to serve others?
Every time I used to see an ambulance pass by, I’d feel a twinge of sadness and longing. “That could have been my office,” I’d say to myself. My poor servant’s heart was let down by my inability to ride in the back of an ambulance and work. How frustrating, right? I went to school just so I could become an awesome Paramedic. That was the career field I threw my all into. (While pregnant, due at the end of the school year) It was going to help me grow, step out of my comfort zone, and I’d get to help people.
That isn’t feasible when you get terribly motion-sick, and your work location is in an office on wheels.
You could say I was really really down. I was so invested in this career field, in both my heart and money-wise, with all of the gear I had been collecting for this career path. Big D even bought me my own engraved stethoscope to use on the job, for my birthday. There went $150-something. And not being able to follow through was truly devastating. Like all 4 tires deflated on the party bus. I was parked on the shoulder of life’s highway.
After that, I tried to find new purpose in another career field, beginning with school. Public education, Business, Graphic Design… road blocks everywhere. And my heart was not in it, my mind was just settling. I was grabbing at every random idea that went through my mind.
“Yeah, I could do that. I wouldn’t mind designing graphics for a big company. I like English; I could teach a high school class. Business – that sounds useful…”
Did I have it in me? Will this give me purpose? Is this something that will fulfill my passion to serve others? I didn’t know. Ever feel so lost, panicky, and unsure about what you should do with your life? That was me.
I needed something to fulfill my servant’s heart. I needed a purpose, something to call my own. And nothing was visible or obvious to me that really sang to my heart. In reflecting on things I’d done in the past, I felt like I’ve always walked to the beat of my own drum. Whatever everybody else was doing, in most cases, I went in the opposite direction. The question for me was “What do you want to do?” not “What should you do?” Where others were seeking jobs, I suddenly decided “Hey, I will just create one for myself.” But how?
One grand idea I had after I had given up on school was to open up a business as a virtual assistant. Basically, I wanted to help other business owners by taking care of advertising, managing social media accounts, creating ads, blog posts, business photography, etc. Any skill I had, I wanted to shove into this box. I created new accounts for this business venture, networked with some other virtual assistants, and started to build my network.
For skills, I also added “Mobile Notary” to the box I was going to fit into. I paid $75 to attend a week-long class at the local community college. I completed that course, only to hit another road block at the end, dealing with my past and my criminal record. Nothing too serious, but it was enough to hold me back from this, as well.
Back to square zero. Can you imagine my frustration now? Every corner I turned, it seemed like a dead end was there to greet me. Like I was still stalled out on the highway.
I’m not one to accept an obstacle as a complete barrier, and do nothing. I did something. I made a new plan.
During this process of trying to find a career path to pursue, I maintained a love for fitness. I had slacked off the last couple of months of 2014 because school and its obstacles were huge stressors. I was running around trying to wrap things up, see if I could move forward, etc. It kept me out of the gym.
But, one person believed there was something in me – my coach. She approached me at the beginning, last July or August, when I started my fitness journey. She offered me a place on her team and I kindly declined. I thought “I’m a gym rat. I’d rather be in a gym with some weight plates. What is Beachbody anyway?”
A few months went by, where I stalked her. She was such an intriguing person who kept popping up in my feed! She was happy, vibrant, healthy, and looked like she was living life to the fullest. She made her fitness and nutrition regimen look like fun. She had a sense of purpose, and was driven towards her goals. I wanted ALL of that. But had no idea how to even get there.
One day, she posted a pic of her in a cute outfit, getting ready to go out and do something fun and awesome. Totally not fitness related, but it dawned on me: she’s a stay-at-home mom, living her life, and making a living doing this. How do I do this?
Impulsively, I messaged her on Instagram. It felt like fate was behind the wheel of this newly revived party bus. I told her we needed to talk. I didn’t care what she had to tell me about this job that she loved so much. I had my mind made up about it. I wanted to stop struggling with my workouts and making it to a gym. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to have a positive attitude about everything. I wanted my own identity, other than being a stay-at-home mom and a wife. I needed to have something of my own. I was sick of feeling like I was going through the motions of living my life. I felt like I was doing exactly what everyone else wanted me to do, and that’s not really me. I needed an identity of my own, and I needed to identify with those who felt the same way.
A couple of days later, I signed up to be a Beachbody coach. Did I have it in me? Will this give me purpose? Is this something that will fulfill my passion to serve others?